A cry within

I’m writing this to pass the time while trying to keep my eyes wide open, just waiting for my class to start.

I am a single mom, and that is not a question. It’s a statement that ends not with a period, but commas and sometimes ellipses. I have long wanted to write my story, but that would be a little narcissistic, and too melodramatic for my taste. So, let me waste time, energy, and electricity on a topic close to home–being a single mom.

Being a single parent is not easy

If a friend of mine would approach me and ask for advice– I would tell him/her to keep fighting, even though that is an option I would never give my case, because being alone is terribly lonely and difficult at times. And, no matter how much love you give your child/children, it would never be enough to compensate for that missing piece in their lives– nothing ever will.

Moreover, you would have to contend with different opinions from different mentalities. Some would commend you for getting out of a relationship that is not working out well for both of you, while others would put you down for being so cowardly and not trying to fight when the situation got rough and tough.

However, there are more ridicules and rejections than praises–I had my share.

Friends who disappeared at the first sign of distress, girlfriends who got frightened, because they felt threatened by your very presence–who could blame them SOME men are like dogs, guys who think that being a single parent means being desperate (sorry, dude, “separada and desperada” are two completely different words), people who laugh at you and literally slaughter you behind your back, because they think you are a failure, and people who hate you because you are different–a symbol of a social unit that society might pretend to accept, but will never really do.

When you’re a single mom you become an easy prey for some people. They will try to ruin whatever dignity you have left as a person–never give them that pleasure. They can beat, pound, and even grind you to the very core, but you are a still a whole person for as long as you don’t let their paltry minds put you down.

You’ll survive…Image

The road is long, narrow, and with as many deep holes as one can imagine, but keep faith–you’ll survive. Day after day you’ll fight because life might scorched, and even melt you but once you come out of the fire you’ll emerge a better person –more than you thought you could ever be.

Then, you FORGIVE.

In order to move on you must learn to forgive. You can never be a survivor by lashing out at the world and the people who hurt you. Just be thankful that in their ignorance you became the person you ought to be. It’s not bad to recount your story every now and then, but if you make it your life’s bible, and your pain and bitterness the gospel that you preach on life and living, then you are simply not alive, but just living in a world encumbered with pain, bitterness, and anger that just won’t go away. An empty cocoon of a person who could never realize her real worth, because she thinks that the world owe her something for her very existence. You are your obligation– you carry the burden of fighting to live and to survive.

Because, at the end of it all, only two opinions matter– yours and God.

I am the pinay VA

Some people still find it hard to believe that I am a stay-at-home mom who is earning more than the average worker. Traditionally, in order to earn a living you need to go to the office,so you dress up, travel, and enslave all day at your desk; however, times have changed all that. Technology has brought a different meaning to the term “workplace.”

My workplace could be any place, as long as I stay virtually connected (I can still remember a time when a friend of mine told me to put my classroom down, referring to the bag containing my laptop.) If you’ll ask me to list the benefits I get from working untethered I could come up with a long list of perks, however, let’s just discuss its drawbacks.

THE SACRIFICES

When you set your heart into becoming one, just remember that in order to achieve your goal, you need to make sacrifices. It does not have the stability that a normal job has, so never expect to work for the same boss or company for a very long period of time, but who knows you just might get lucky. In thisImage industry, you and you alone have the responsibility of maintaining the stability of your job,your credibility will always precedes you.

I work at home, a fact that I would always be proud of, because it’s not an easy job. I do not just compete with people who are in the same geographic location as I am–I have to compete with the world, and I always need to be in a winning form.

Sadly, as a freelancer no company would spend money on my training, thus, I have to hone my talent that only way I know how–train myself to be competitive. In this respect, my most powerful ally is the Google search engine–I spend hours and hours of my life typing keywords just to find data for my professional enrichment. I have accumulated materials on how to do SEO, Joomla, WordPress, Hootsuite, HTML, and the like (I just hope I would get around to reading all of them.) At this point, I want to learn how to be a webmaster–to give me the added edge I need to get a head start in this business.

I am THE FILIPINA VIRTUAL ASSISTANT, and I am here to stay.

Aging gracefully

Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder, but sometimes our eyes have ways of lying to us. My mom once told me “we only get physically old, but the heart, soul, and mind stay young.” Yes, we could condition our mind and body to maintain a semblance of what we once were,but we need to tell our eyes to be honest.

For the only way to resolve a problem is to know what the problem is. If not, then we would forever remain in a wonderland of lies.  When people ask me what my beauty secret is–truth is there is no secret–it’s just that I am aware that certain changes do come with age. It’s a fact that people hate change, I did and so does everyone I know. However, change is inevitable. If you kept fighting change to maintain who you were 20 years ago, then you will eventually discover that the girl you were 20 years ago has already disappeared. You cannot bring that person back,but you can always recreate the person you are now–into someone better.

You don’t need to undergo a lot of invasive procedures to achieve that, but then again-why not if you have the means. However, why spend a lot of money if you could do it the natural way or better put, the most cost-effective way. I may not be the best person to consult when it comes to love and relationship, but I guess I don’t need to prove that I could be an authority on how to maintain a woman’s beauty.

So, let me start by saying this–one Imageof the things I’ve noticed with women especially those who are already married and have a kid or two is that they tend to forget that beyond the different roles we have in our lives is the core of who we are–a woman. So, we tend to forsake that person who needs to be pampered every now and then. You might say you don’t have enough money to spend on that. Well, money is not an issue because I can tell you one thing, you don’t need to go to the salon to make yourself beautiful. I, for one, don’t go to there except when I need a hair cut. Of course, you will still need to spend some–for nothing in this world comes free anymore.

In my upcoming blogs, I will be discussing ways and means on how to age gracefully. For now, let me end this by saying to all those women out there, “We are NOT commodities, but if we are–then we should learn to take better care of ourselves the moment we get sold–for you’ll never know when your “owner” will go for someone better. Spending a little amount of money beats the hundred of thousands you’ll spend when it’s way too late. Do it now– I know you can! Just bear in mind that advises would only work and be useful if you see the need to apply them in your life. Ciao! ~~