I’m writing this to pass the time while trying to keep my eyes wide open, just waiting for my class to start.
I am a single mom, and that is not a question. It’s a statement that ends not with a period, but commas and sometimes ellipses. I have long wanted to write my story, but that would be a little narcissistic, and too melodramatic for my taste. So, let me waste time, energy, and electricity on a topic close to home–being a single mom.
Being a single parent is not easy
If a friend of mine would approach me and ask for advice– I would tell him/her to keep fighting, even though that is an option I would never give my case, because being alone is terribly lonely and difficult at times. And, no matter how much love you give your child/children, it would never be enough to compensate for that missing piece in their lives– nothing ever will.
Moreover, you would have to contend with different opinions from different mentalities. Some would commend you for getting out of a relationship that is not working out well for both of you, while others would put you down for being so cowardly and not trying to fight when the situation got rough and tough.
However, there are more ridicules and rejections than praises–I had my share.
Friends who disappeared at the first sign of distress, girlfriends who got frightened, because they felt threatened by your very presence–who could blame them SOME men are like dogs, guys who think that being a single parent means being desperate (sorry, dude, “separada and desperada” are two completely different words), people who laugh at you and literally slaughter you behind your back, because they think you are a failure, and people who hate you because you are different–a symbol of a social unit that society might pretend to accept, but will never really do.
When you’re a single mom you become an easy prey for some people. They will try to ruin whatever dignity you have left as a person–never give them that pleasure. They can beat, pound, and even grind you to the very core, but you are a still a whole person for as long as you don’t let their paltry minds put you down.
The road is long, narrow, and with as many deep holes as one can imagine, but keep faith–you’ll survive. Day after day you’ll fight because life might scorched, and even melt you but once you come out of the fire you’ll emerge a better person –more than you thought you could ever be.
Then, you FORGIVE.
In order to move on you must learn to forgive. You can never be a survivor by lashing out at the world and the people who hurt you. Just be thankful that in their ignorance you became the person you ought to be. It’s not bad to recount your story every now and then, but if you make it your life’s bible, and your pain and bitterness the gospel that you preach on life and living, then you are simply not alive, but just living in a world encumbered with pain, bitterness, and anger that just won’t go away. An empty cocoon of a person who could never realize her real worth, because she thinks that the world owe her something for her very existence. You are your obligation– you carry the burden of fighting to live and to survive.
Because, at the end of it all, only two opinions matter– yours and God.